Storytime... (KISS)

...the twisted little way I have of writing...

Friday, April 25, 2008

today... yes, it will be today

Today I have some reason to care. Today I have another dent in the chrome of my heart. Today another scar, today another insecurity, another reason to court death. Today I made the decision. The decision that will change all my delayed tomorrows forever. And tomorrow I will start. While so many commit to trying something new... tomorrow; and always just a day away - that tomorrow. Not me, I will. I will start showering without looking in the mirror critiquing myself for five minuted. I will start standing up for myself to those creditors who swear I purchased something I didn't. Tomorrow I will. I will start honking at the cars that are in too much of a hurry and cut me off on my way into work. I will stop showing up to work half an hour early hoping they will need my help, clock me in, and pay me for helping out. They won't. They won't care that I suffer day in and day out to make them money that I never see. And tomorrow I will stop caring. I will start spending more time with my family, not just my cat. If another grandparent dies, I will stop ignoring death and starting tomorrow I will visit them, I will call them, I will talk to them more often. Starting tomorrow.
Just like yesterday. Yesterday I said "tomorrow I will stop hating my hair." Today I don't not like it as much as I did. See I'm making progress.

and tomorrow...

tomorrow I'm going to get my tooth fixed.
I'm going to punch that guy that kicked my ribs after smashing me in the face with a pipe.
I'm going to tell her who raped me tomorrow.
tomorrow I'll burry my cat who is making the garage smell like a dumpster.
and tomorrow will be the day I finally pull the trigger
I'll pull the trigger.
After I paint that grave I always dreamed of having.
I'll die.
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