Part One: Daughter's Perspective (607 wrds)
Another moment in time, another screaming voice in the back of my mind. I want to go, I want to, I need it, I need to go get high or drunk, to bash my head against the wall, Anything! It's got to be better than this, anything has got to be better than the paralysis I feel here. I'm glued to the chair, apathetically staring at the screen, hoping no one notices that the page hasn't changed in hours. At the very least I need a cigarette. That light-headed feeling, that sickening half existence is better than having to deal with this bastardly madness they call reality. I can't move, I'm paralyzed by fear. If I don't move they won't see me, they won't notice me, I need for them to leave me alone. I need to get away from these hyenas. The gross, self-centered malicious bastards! How can they ignore the suffering of others to pursue their own big-headed, idiosyncratic... jus... whi... the...
Oh it's no use, let me try to organize my thoughts for you, let me try to put into some order which may resemble coherence... Bear with me.
Ok here's the scene. I'm sitting here at my computer. I'm desperate. I need to get out of here, and I need to get away from those two freaks without them noticing. What I wouldn't give for a cigarette right now, or even a brick! Something, anything! I just want to get knocked unconscious right now. I just don't want to remember having had to waste any amount of time with them. I can't leave now, they would notice it. I can't leave later, they'll be gone by then and there would no longer be a point to doing so. Will someone please shoot them! ... Good. They left the room. I hope they stay away for a long time, I hope they never come back, I hope I can stop dwelling on it and actually enjoy the peace without them - just for once even. Their haunting words and slanderous phrases irk me and are utterly menacing, disturbing. They yell, they scream, things break. But at least it's not here, not in my life, not right now, now I can actually enjoy the pain and the loneliness. Without them and the turmoil they create, I'm free. I'm free to cry and they won't notice, they won't see me, they won't care and I won't have to worry about them overanalyzing every tear. Sometimes a person just needs to cry you know. Just to let it out... you know? They scream, I hear a thud. More screaming. More bitching. Footsteps. Heavy ones. If I just shrink into the corner and don't move they will leave me alone. They’ll forget about me, they'll leave me behind. I'm the innocent one, the good kid. I didn't do shit to deserve this.
She comes in, grabs me by the arm, I'm jerked across the room in a violent cascade of yelling, screaming and then... I don't remember. The door shuts, I'm looking out at them from my side of the car's window, for once, I'm on the inside, I'm locked into the silence, for once I'm allowed to be alone and for once I don't have to deal with them. For once, for once, I can smile. As I do the strange and painful realization creeps over me, touching ever part of me deep within, molesting me heart and soul. ... I want nothing more than to be near them again. Their absence leaves me in pain, I want them, I need them. And here I am lonely, bound and without them. Why did they do this to me? Why would they leave me here?
To be edited to 500 wrds...
Oh it's no use, let me try to organize my thoughts for you, let me try to put into some order which may resemble coherence... Bear with me.
Ok here's the scene. I'm sitting here at my computer. I'm desperate. I need to get out of here, and I need to get away from those two freaks without them noticing. What I wouldn't give for a cigarette right now, or even a brick! Something, anything! I just want to get knocked unconscious right now. I just don't want to remember having had to waste any amount of time with them. I can't leave now, they would notice it. I can't leave later, they'll be gone by then and there would no longer be a point to doing so. Will someone please shoot them! ... Good. They left the room. I hope they stay away for a long time, I hope they never come back, I hope I can stop dwelling on it and actually enjoy the peace without them - just for once even. Their haunting words and slanderous phrases irk me and are utterly menacing, disturbing. They yell, they scream, things break. But at least it's not here, not in my life, not right now, now I can actually enjoy the pain and the loneliness. Without them and the turmoil they create, I'm free. I'm free to cry and they won't notice, they won't see me, they won't care and I won't have to worry about them overanalyzing every tear. Sometimes a person just needs to cry you know. Just to let it out... you know? They scream, I hear a thud. More screaming. More bitching. Footsteps. Heavy ones. If I just shrink into the corner and don't move they will leave me alone. They’ll forget about me, they'll leave me behind. I'm the innocent one, the good kid. I didn't do shit to deserve this.
She comes in, grabs me by the arm, I'm jerked across the room in a violent cascade of yelling, screaming and then... I don't remember. The door shuts, I'm looking out at them from my side of the car's window, for once, I'm on the inside, I'm locked into the silence, for once I'm allowed to be alone and for once I don't have to deal with them. For once, for once, I can smile. As I do the strange and painful realization creeps over me, touching ever part of me deep within, molesting me heart and soul. ... I want nothing more than to be near them again. Their absence leaves me in pain, I want them, I need them. And here I am lonely, bound and without them. Why did they do this to me? Why would they leave me here?
To be edited to 500 wrds...
posted by Shannon Hollender @ 2:35 PM
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