What I'd like to explain here is not what happened or why. I believe there are more important things to discuss here and in an attempt to remain brief I truely hope you will be both interpretive and understanding. For example, it is extremely important to me to point out to you that I had once in a life that seems now foreign to me, defended the concept of carpe diem. Seize the day, live for the now, tomorrow may never come... all contrite and misleading. I have learned, in the past year, since the incident in question, that having no plan for the future is exactly the same as having no future at all. And I have more than vowed to change my ways, I have taken many steps to correct my own errors in judgement, and wrongful mindset. What I want to be understood here is what happened, happened. And whatever one's interpretation of that may be; it was a mistake and a deeply regrettable one at that. What matters now is that where I was in my life was not and is not where I am going with my life. While where I am now is neither, it is not where I was and it is on the way to becoming the role model I wanted to have when my life had taken its turn for the worse. Who I was, over a year ago now, was a despicable person deserving no mercy. I have no idea when, but I'm striving to put together within the next few years, the pieces that make up the life I want to lead.