who I've become

When last we spoke I had a lot to lament, Like I regreted not regretting anything. I have since come to terms with my lackluster lifestyle and while I still think myself droll, I find a certain excitement in recounting my experiences to others. Here is just such an experience, one I can really only recount to you as I can't tell a living soul about it.His name is Devon. He has a shaved head and a bad tooth and eyes that always look like he's about to cry. Fists always ready to take out anyone who says anything. Shoulders that say he had everything he needs to back it up. He's tall to me, despite his short stature. He always stood tall, proud, and he always commanded at least my respect. Devon's everything in a man I dreamed of before I met Dare.And that was the problem; he'd met someone too. Devon was married. Now I've fallen in love with married men before. We've had our fun and gone our separate ways, actually only happened once but it was... well... an affair. But they were in the middle of a divorce. Not Devon, his is a happy marriage. He just wasn't getting any ass and I wanted desperately to help him with that. Never mind my own "attachments".So we planned it, he met me at the door and I kissed my sweetie goodbye, I'm sure he kissed his, at least if he's good at such a thing he was smart enough to do so. Otherwise the significant others get suspicious, you know the whole 'something's out of place' gig. And we got in his truck and headed out. I was nervous, the whole day prior i was planning on kissing him as soon as we pulled off. I couldn't. WE talked non-sense as we drove off towards the next town over.At the liquor store I covered the bill, I knew this was his day and I wanted to make it anything he wanted. we were heading to the beach so it was only fitting to mix up a sex on the beach cocktail. As soon as we got back in the truck, I grabbed him and kissed him. He kisses better than Dare. He has a tongue ring but I couldn't hold it against him. Soft and sweet, his tongue didn't dart around or utterly invade it was a caressing. I melted. He asked me if I wanted to do that for a while. Yes.We headed towards the beach and he showed me some of the sights. What a gentleman, he was trying to show me a good time. It was a sweet gesture. Looking at the old buildings and the setup of the town, all I could see was him. All my attention was on his warm and comforting body sitting only a foot from mine. I wanted to jump him. We parked by the jetties and talked about how rough the waves were. We were killing time, which was the last thing I wanted to do. So I took his hand and smiled. He asked if we should drive around to the other side. "Finally" I thought.When we got there, he asked if we should take a walk, so I mixed a drink and swallowed my fears. What if he doesn't like me? What if this is all some game? What if he didn't like the way I kissed. "You've wanted to do that for a while huh?" "Better than I'd imagined it would be." With booze in hand we headed into the woods to follow the shore around a bit. Found a quiet spot in the sun to sit, drink and talk. It wasn't to his liking though. I was glad when he wanted to keep moving. We found a little deck in the middle of no where overlooking the water. I kissed him again, held his hand.Fish were swimming in the water just beneath us but I didn't notice them. The bushes were overgrown blocking most all of the view, but I didn't care. I leaned over the edge to give him a view. I caught him staring at my ass, so I smiled at him and took his hands and put them where he wanted me to want them. I grabbed his hips and moved him behind me where I could grind up against him. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to turn him on so bad he would take me. I drank some more. Every time I looked at him I smiled, he was obviously getting drunk and I felt bad. My tolerance is much higher. But I was hoping it would loosen him up a bit. I wanted him to take me. "You want it?" I cooed. I stood up and spun away hoping he'd follow. "Yes." He said. He didn't, he didn't follow. I went back to him and kissed him again, shoved him back against the rail. He was hard. I smiled and he, finally, smiled back. "You know I'm evil." I hissed, thinking: "punish me, punish me please, I want to be punished for being so evil." I should have said it."Evil huh?""You wanna know how evil?""Yeah." He had an excitement in his eyes as I slowly rubbed my chin down his frame."I'm very evil." I said grabbing his cock for a quick rub. Then in a smooth motion I stood turned, grabbing the alcohol and started walking away. I said over my shoulder "Really very evil."I wanted him the grab me and pull me back, bend me over and take me. He followed and I cursed in my head. Poor thing, walking around like that. "I'm sorry" I said, "but you asked for it." I tried to bait him."You're right that was evil." he said adjusting.I scooted ahead a few steps and lifted my skirt to show off my ass. Turned to look at him. Poor thing was too much of a gentleman for his own good. We walked, holding hands and ducking beneath the overgrowth. I passed him the alcohol, no sense in trying to keep him sober, the poor thing couldn't take what he wanted drunk, he's less likely to be any fun with all his wits about him.We walked along the shore talking about life, jobs, drugs and people we knew. It was wonderful to feel so close. I wanted him as the water kept splashing in our faces, trying to get into our drink. It was just so nice to laugh with him.We walked back to the truck. I mixed another one, another 32 ounces of motor-control inhibitor. And he said something. I couldn't hear it for the voice in the back of my head screaming "I want you! I want you to take me! Fuck me!" So I just gave a bland harrumph as I shook our mixer and put in on the floor like I was concentrating on something.In his seat he looked rather uncomfortable. I wanted to lean over and kiss him again. He asked what we should do next. My ears perked up, "Do?" I said. Thinking: "why each other of course." I've really got to learn to let things out my mouth. I suggested we find a quieter place to park. And after a few polite "are you sure" moments, we drove off. He was on the main road for a few minutes after his second sip of the drink that I took from him and put back on the floor, I think he realized he was having trouble staying inside the lines and we took side roads and back roads from there. It took us about half an hour, maybe forty-five minutes to find the spot."There used to be a great place back here in this development, now they're all houses." he kept darting down roads. "Something tells me down this road make a left and somewhere down around here" I said. "Have you been here before?" "Nope, Janie told me. It's just fucking weird."It was actually three lefts and about an extra mile and a half than I'd expected.We backed into the shrubbery and wandered around for a bit, then back to the truck. Nothing to see but tall grasses and each other. The thorn bushes kept grabbing at my knees. The scent and smell of blood, though faint, excited me. I crawled into the back of the truck and he saw my scratches. "Are you ok?""Never better!" And I grabbed him and kissed him. We held each other close, grinding, kissing, touching. I lost track of my hands, lost track of his. Lost my sense of up and down and found myself sitting where he was stripping off what little I had on. He was stripping too. I looked him over and smiled as he looked me over. I waited for him to move. That moment is burned into my brain: Him on his knees, me on mine; the look and feel of the ribbing on my knees through the thin blue blanket; the bright daylight behind him streaming through the windows all around; the smell in the air was dry grass mixed with sweat and pheromones. In that instance eternity passed and I opened my eyes to his touch. His body on mine grinding and moaning it was wonderful. I don't remember it. I don't remember which ways we moved, how I ended up in his lap, what we were doing when the blanket beneath our knees needed to be adjusted. I don't remember if I got to give him head, I'm sure I did, I love to. He commented about it later. But I don't remember if I got to lay him down, run my nails across his skull to the nape of his neck, kiss his neck and ride him like I'd dreamed of doing to him. I remember how it ended. He came on my stomach and I breather as if I hadn't breathed in hours. I didn't cum.We dressed. We were a bit more sober, we drove back to the beach. I still wanted him, but I knew he couldn't do much so I settled for moving over to his lap as soon as we parked and I started riding him a bit. I just wanted to have fun, give him a show. I didn't expect him to get hard like he did. So he stood up and as he was standing at the door, I leaned over to give him pleasure. Gladly too, I wanted him. But it was cut short. Damn kids walking by. At least I felt he meant it when he said it. I took comfort. He honestly did want me.It wasn't long, his friend showed up and the party began again with another drink. And we all went out to the beach. We swam, I lost my glasses and shoes. But I got a damn shell. My watch got wet. For the next hour it was 8:14. When the watch finally died we were walking from one shore to another through some goopy seaweed that somehow sliced my toe open. It was fun to dart around in the water passing the bottle back and fourth. We found an inlet and got back ashore only to get to the trucks and drive back to the camp site. There we stayed lapping up the pleasure of each other's company. I got to blow Devon while his friend attempted to pleasure me. A gnat was better company, at least I noticed gnats. Devon’s friend got my lips around him and Devon said "I told you man, no gag reflex."And we were all goofing around and talking nonsense. Teasing, tricking, loving and laughing. I told his friend he wasn't very good. He got offended. He grabbed my wrists and tried to tie me up at the elbows. It was exciting and I wanted something more, after all what's tying a person up if there's no fight, I twisted and rolled out of it and walked over to Devon saying "If you’re going to do it, do it right." I waited for him to try again, but all he wanted was to try to go down on me again "six and a half inches of tongue is all I've got!" he whined. "Well then you don't have much." I said. So I laid down on the bed of the truck and told him where to concentrate, what to do, where I wanted his tongue. Briefly, barely, I told him things; and he caught on well to little direction, I assume he's teachable. Devon walked around the corner and turned to walk right back. We stopped and called him back over to us. "I didn't want to interrupt anything" he said. "Nonsense you weren't interrupting a damn thing." I said shooting a look at my attempted pleasurer. "Besides tonight is about you, I'd rather have you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.We all sat down to talk more and sober up. The alcohol was almost gone and the night was almost over. I wanted desperately to do more with Devon. I told him so when we piled into the truck to head out. "One last hurrah..." I called it. I was pleased when he said "Why can't we?" And I was even more pleased when he found an old parking lot to park in. Set back and dark. I wanted to suck on him, poor thing was tired after the long day he'd had. Took him deep, took him fast, took him slow, actually got to concentrate on pleasuring him this time. I found a few things he liked and tried to crawl onto his lap but he wasn’t up for it yet. So I went back to bent over him and kept going. Deeper, faster, rippling my tongue. When he was ready I tried to crawl into his lap again but that didn't last long he told me he was coming over to my side. I opened the door for him and waited for directions. He wanted to bend me over and take me. "Finally!" I thought, and I smiled as I bent down deep sprawling my arms across the seat looking back at him and moaning. I ground into him as he pounded away at my flesh and loved every second of it. Until he said he was cumming. I turned and hit my knees and took him. What can I say? I love the taste. And he tasted good.From there he took me home, and crawling into bed with my sweetheart I wanted so badly to cum, the whole day I hadn’t, I couldn't even masterbate to relieve the pressure, I curled up close to my man and told myself to go the hell to sleep.