Never Again-That Night

You remember your parents being too busy to watch the kids? I do. Rather than pay attention to the hours of tv droning on in front of me I listened to what was going on. It was mostly household chores and talking to random people I didn't know. They put on M.A.S.H but it could have been barney for all I knew or cared. I listened to the conversations and the arguing and realized what a split looked like before she even knew it was a divorce.
With my ears I'd see her crying, I smelled the fear in the air when he got home, I smelled even more of it mixed with blood and pain in the late night hours. I knew what this was.
And silent and still I'd sit where I was told to, watching out for what was going on around us. I couldn't see anything going on unless it was close enough to need to get out of the way of. To move at all was a different fear all together.
"Lish can you wait a minute!" I could still hear the words. Glad that I appear to be doing anything else and not involved. I was involved. There was nothing I could do to run away from it. I was trapped with my worst fear. And I still believed I had a way out.
I pick. I's my Nervous habit. Scraping my nails, picking my teeth, picking apart the words I hear around me. Since learning to Not listen to everything around me. The probem is I do hear it all and the worst sound of all is silence.
Springing to my feet I run over to scoop up my older brother, making him cry with a pinch. "What you guys upset him for?" I yelled as I piled him into a corner telling him under my breath to just shut up and let me handle it. It was the first time I had ever interrupted a fight. And it was exactly when I was needed to. There was no beating that night. Our tv show, the one we used to watch all the time, is playing in the background and yet I can only barely hear it.