Never Again-That Night toleration
It was a soft winter morning and the fresh snow begged to be played with. I could hear his voice in her room saying not to cry the pain would go away. And a day of rump sliding in the snow would make it feel better. She knew better than to cry where people could see. Too many questions led to longer nights in Daddy's arms. He couldn't stand the thought of loosing her and it made him want to love her even more.
"We're going sledding Jami!" I said to her as she came from her room. She took my hand and wouldn't let go. Out the door we went and from hill to hill we laughed and played. Snow-ball fights and snow men, hot cocoa and igloo building. We sat in the little igloo we built and she asked me if I could always stay with her. Having me around made her feel happier she said. "I'm just like Momma," I told her "He's always going to be Daddy but he's never going to think Momma is perfect and maybe I can change the way he acts for a little while, but it'll never go away." She looked up at me with those sad eyes and grabbed my hand tighter. I could see the beginning of a cry. "Cry here where no one can see you if you want to but keep it up and somehow they always know." I pointed to her forehead and told her: "Instead cry here, and the only person that knows will be you. Sometimes you have to hide it and sometimes you have to scream it from the rooftops. Unless you know for sure which is which you should reaally hide it. Daddy will always love you. Even if it hurts how he shows it."
We got back into the house and I was promising to make cookies only if she helped me. Her smile was ear to ear for the moment. He was on the phone again, "I love that little girl and she loves me, More than you do you bitch..." She had obviously pressed one of his buttons as only she could. His voice was quivering with the beginning of a cry. "If that's how it has to be then fine..." He said masking his emotion as much as he could.
It's not really her though, He tolerates her to see his daughter.