Have you ever been shot with a blunt object just behind the ear? In that soft spot there, there's a certain one square inch which blinds you, paralyzes you, renders you helpless and all you can hear is the silent ring of rain, all you can feel is the pulsating vibration throughout your body of pain, and strangely all you can see is a world of pain. I remember the first 200 mph shot to that spot only as a ddream. Because remembering it any more vividly was too much to handle. The onlt thing was just as, if not more painful was loosing a loved one. Men; I've found, get that intense connection when sex is involved. Women, when other kinds of bonding are involved. I remember spending nights on end on the phone with him discussing eerything from what was on tv to how it upset him that his keepers didn't understand him. I didn't understand him. But over time and hours spent listening to him, I felt I began to. I could predict his reactions, predict what he was going to say. I fell in love with him because I understood him. Loosing him was a world of pain that rivaled a shot to the soft spot behind the ear. One of those things can only be described, only understood if experienced.
Listening to him cry I understood his pain. I felt his pain. I wanted to sooth it. He was crying and I understood his desire to die and end the suffering. "Don't despair sweetie. Don't wish that..." I reasoned "because if you aren't here at all imagine what she'll have to go through and she won't have you to get her through any of it. Imagine her world without your love... You don't want to do that to her do you?" He kept crying. He was enduring the pain though.I keep telling him nothing in this world is worth that kind of pain.