Sincerely, the girl in the darkness.

Sincerely, the girl in the darkness.
I liked having my own room but I don't want it to be like this. I’ve always known a dark room with one shadow-less shadow everywhere. I want to know what sunlight looks and feels like. Mommy says it’s wonderful, like one of her warm protecting hugs. I remember how Mommy and Daddy used to tuck me in to bed and make the noise go away for the night. They said it was special I heard them and if I learned when to believe them and when not to I'd never have to worry about them being mean. I miss Mommy, Daddy too. Mommy said he is ok in Heaven now, but she still cried a lot before they took her away. The worst part of living with Grandma and Grandpa after that wasn't the "inner cleaning" or having to go to private church services and get drown almost every week or the punishments for hearing the noise, or the things they would say at night. They said I shouldn't be treated like this and that Grandma and Grandpa were really the evil ones. No; none of that was the worst part. I just missed Mommy and her night time song that made them go away...
Don't you listen don't you fear, you need not take their words sincere
Little girls like gods in heaven, need to sleep, will be forgiven
Nasty voices lye in reserve, without sleep we cannot serve
Special girls need special care and there's no more special anywhere
So now my child go to sleep and if those voices make a peep
Don't you mind them they snore too, sleep-talking always has proven untrue
In your mind they'll not creep near, they know you control the grim reaper.
…She used to sing it to me and she'd do something with a pot and fire. It would work and keep the voices quiet at night. When Grandma and Grandpa took me, they told me it was all just in my head and that I needed to stop pretending. I could not sleep for a week because they said mean things and when I tried to do what Mommy did, it didn't work and the sheets caught fire. The nice officer said it was sad that Grandma and Grandpa suffocated. I wasn't sad, and neither were the voices. At night now I still don't sleep, they show me lots of things about what some people are doing in other rooms and what they are going to do soon. Someone is going to try to cut me. And the voices don't like it at all.
Here I am in this room with a nurse and a door all to myself and I don't want to have my own room like this. I asked the voices what to do and they said I should let them take care of me. I did.
All the people are screaming, the doctors aren't really doctors or at least they should not be and the voices say what they are doing is cruel and wrong. I've seen them hurt people just to know what will happen and I think it is not right to do. The voices are taking over the doctors; the voices say they will make the doctors destroy all the bad people here. Bad people like the man who fixes things and touches little girls, and bad people like even the doctors themselves. The voices have taken over the nurses too. They have to have hands to serve and protect me they said and I told them I guess it would be alright. People who like to help and serve become nurses; don't they?
The nurses used to bring the really creepy fixes things guy into my room, point at things and say "fix it". The voices used to show me what the "fix it" would think about me. They... keep showing me. And they told me that my Mommy is here and that they told her what he wanted to do to me. It made her very upset and the doctors hurt her when she got angry with the “fix it”.
All the patients know what the bad people all want to do to me. Some of the mean people want to kill me, some, like the "fix it" man want to play bad games with me, some, think I need to be used for my special relationship with the voices. And the patients think this is wrong. At least the ones the voices call “the good ones” do. The voices say they will let them stay free so they can protect me and help the doctors destroy themselves. I think the voices are getting pushy but I just want to give them what they want so they will go away.
The voices say they will make sure all the patients will be free to protect me for as long as they are needed. They say my Mommy would be proud of me. She's going to die soon. I miss my Mommy, I can see her, and I know that she misses me a lot too. Last night I cried and it made the voices angry. I think that’s why they started spreading their shadow-less shadow.
So I'm taking my nurse, the voices gave her to me, and waiting in my room, my room with the plain green walls and the cold hard floor and no shadow, no light just me and my dark self, until all the voices get what they want. Then maybe it will all stop and the voices will go away let me see what sunlight looks like.
And I miss the way I used to have my own room with stuffed animals and big comfy blankets. I'm going to get the voices to bring me something warm to snuggle up in. That will make me happy and maybe they'll be happy too. That way it will be like Mommy said, and it won’t be long before I’m out of the darkness. It's been kinda really long. I just want soft blankets, silence, and light, lots of warm, quiet, it doesn't tell what you should think or do, sunlight.