Do Virgins Taste Better?

Intro:
Irish Folklore tells tales of dragons,
great worms of devastation and destruction.
We all know the story:
The dragon ravaging the town;
The town offering a sacrificial virgin
to rid themselves of the beast.
On this, Randy Farran muses:
Do Virgins Taste Better?
And Claire Stephens McMurray
Gives us the Dragons Retorte

Do Virgins Taste Better
words by Randy Farran, music traditional

A dragon has come to our village today.
We've asked him to leave, but he won't go away.
Now he's talked to our king and they worked out a deal.
No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal.

Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch.
Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch.
Well, we've no other choice, so the deal we'll respect.
But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect.

Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
Are they salty, or sweeter, more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly? Gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
Now we'd like to be shed you, and many have tried.
But no one can get through your thick scaly hide.
We hope that some day, some brave knight will come by.
'Cause we can't wait around 'til you're too fat to fly.

Now you have such good taste in your women for sure,
They always are pretty, they always are pure.
But your notion of dining, it makes us all flinch,
For your favorite entree is barbecued wench.

Now we've found a solution, it works out so neat,
If you insist on nothing but virgins to eat.
No more will our number ever grow small,
We'll simply make sure there's no virgins at all!

The Dragon's Retorte (original version)
by Claire Stephens McMurray

Now, I am a dragon. Please listen to me
For I'm misunderstood to a dreadful degree.
This ecology needs me and I know my place.
But I'm fighting extinction with all of my race.

Well, I came to this village to better my health
Which is shockingly poor, despite all my wealth.
But I get no assistance and no sympathy,
Just impertinent questioning shouted at me.

Yessss, virgins taste better than those who are not.
But my favorite snack food with peril is fraught.
For my teeth will decay and my trim go to pot.
Yet virgins taste better than those who are not.

Now, we Worms are deep thinkers; at science we shine,
But our world's complicated with every new line.
We must quit all the things that we've done since the Flood
Like, lying on gold couches poisons our blood!

Well, I'm really quite good almost all through the year.
Vegetarian ways are now mine out of fear.
But a birthday needs sweets as I'm sure you'll agree.
And barbecued wench tastes like candy to me!

As it happens our interests are almost the same.
For I'm really quite skillful at managing game.
If I ate just your men, would your excess decline?
Of course not, the rest would just make better time

But the number of babies a woman can bear
Has a limit, and that's why my prunings done there.
Yet an orphan's a sad sight and so when I munch.
I'm careful to take out a virgin for lunch.