Storytime... (KISS)

...the twisted little way I have of writing...

Sunday, January 28, 2007

dream together

It was amazing to see them again, Little John, Dare, Toi and Fiver, it was like Day was still with us, the feeling was amazing, I wanted to run up to them and hug them. They welcomed me, and we all lit our cigarettes and talked about the past. It had been a long time since we had all been together in the same place. They asked me about college, how things were going, what it was like. As soon as they found out it was boring in comparison to the life we'd all lived, no one cared. Dare recounted tales of people he'd tangled with recently, parties he's crashed, things he'd done and we were his captive audience all over agin. It was like we were there with him doing those crazy things all over again. Everyone smiled and laughed and we were all having a good time. Except me. I didn't belong. I barely understood the language anymore and half of what he said was going in one ear and out the other, I felt out of the loop and I was. I took a half step back and no one noticed. This was their lives and world now, I didn't fit in or belong anymore. "Right Chris" one of 'em said with a smile, I smiled back and nodded, not really knowing what they asked. Everyone was pleased with my response and went back to their conversation. It was the story of Dare slaying the dragon all over again, only this time it had happened just last week, all the things that happened in his life happened just last week. A perpetual state of "awe man, let me tell you what happened to me last week..."
I always wanted to know why he hid behind that way of living, why was it he always had to have a story to tell and a life-threatening situation to be in. It scared me to think of him wagering his life again and loosing for once. But it always had.
It had been a while since I'd been here, our little bit of turf had changed; a fence here, a sign there, and the world seemed duller than it did back in our hay-day. Staring off into the distance I thought about what laid beyond those hills. I came from about that direction, hundreds of miles south of here. I thought the grass would be somehow greener here, it's brown in both places, and I stared down at the ground beneath my feet, no grass where I stood, just dirt and cigarette butts. Feeling a change in the winds I hugged my jacked around me tighter and looked to the sky, it's going to rain soon. I couldn't understand why, but tears welled up in my eyes, I hadn't ever cried in front of these people. We were all kids then and no one wanted to be seen as immature. A rain-drop hit my cheek and I blinked out a tear.
Sniffing hard against the cold air my chest siezed and my heart stopped for a moment and there was a sharp pain. I turned and started walking. I knew I had to leave them behind.
I just didn't want to.

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